What is Mindfulness?
When people think of mindfulness they often think of it as emptying our minds or stopping our negative thoughts. Some people think mindfulness is all about relaxation. Unfortunately, those are inaccurate definitions of mindfulness that leave people saying, “I tried mindfulness, and it doesn’t work. My thoughts didn’t stop, and I don’t feel more rested.”
The truth is that we have thousands of thoughts in a day, and it’s impossible to stop all of them at once. Mindfulness is not about suddenly stopping our negative thoughts. Instead, it’s about bringing awareness to the present in a compassionately curious way.
Mindfulness, in short, is simply learning how to pay attention to something in the moment, on purpose and without judgment.
Real mindfulness includes three things:
Intention- making the decision to bring awareness to the present moment.
Attention- intentional focus on the present moment including thoughts, feelings and sensations.
Attitude- approaching our observations in a compassionately curious and non-judgmental way.
Practicing mindfulness this way helps decrease anxiety by creating a pause between the trigger and your automatic reaction to what your brain is perceiving as a real threat. This pause interrupts the anxious thinking pattern and gives your nervous system an opportunity to regulate by activating our parasympathetic nervous system and reducing our experience of physiological symptoms of anxiety such as rapid heart rate and muscle tension.
Mindfulness helps us to shift our thinking away from the “what ifs” about the future or the rumination on the past and grounds us in the present moment. It also changes our relationship with our thoughts. Instead of believing our thoughts as facts, we can become compassionate observers of what we’re thinking without accepting our own commentary as truth.
Mindfulness can reduce avoidance and build distress tolerance. Because mindfulness is not about stopping thoughts, avoiding thoughts, or producing any particular emotional state, it can help us learn to sit with all of our emotions, including the uncomfortable ones.
The next time you find yourself in an anxiety loop, try these exercises to ground yourself in the present:
5-4-3-2-1 Technique
Use this method to ground your senses. Identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you taste. This practice helps bring all of your awareness back to the present moment.
Mindful breathing
Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and put your hand on your stomach. Take a few deep breaths in through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. Let your breathing settle into a normal rhythm, and think about the rise and fall of your stomach as you inhale and exhale. Relax your shoulders and soften your jaw. If your mind starts to wander, observe the thought without getting pulled into it and recenter on the rise and fall of your breathing. Continue for 2-3 minutes or until physiological symptoms calm.
Body scan
A mental body scan can help ground you in the present moment. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and begin checking in with yourself mentally, slowly moving your attention through your body, focusing on one area at a time. Start with your head, then move down to your chest, arms, hands, and lower body. Take note of how each area feels.
Observing thoughts
Observing your thoughts helps you notice what you’re thinking about without judgment or shame. When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to notice what you’re thinking. Say, “I notice I’m having that worry…” or “I notice I’m thinking about this again.” Observing your thoughts without judgment can help you from entering the anxiety loop.
If you’re just starting your mindfulness journey, give yourself some time to adjust. As we established at the beginning of this blog, mindfulness is not about immediately stopping negative thoughts; it’s about being present in the moment.
Give these practices a try the next time you feel overwhelmed, and if you need additional support navigating your anxiety, you can learn more about my counseling services here.
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